I don't understand...WHY do people count birthdays for someone who has passed?
Someone told me that today was their father's birthday......and finished the statement with "he would have been 110 today." What is this voodoo that makes people count years that people have not lived?
I see it all of the time. The media will say things like "Today would have been ______'s 300th birthday."
When does it stop? I get the idea of remembering a person's birthday, but the unrealized age of someone is a bit unnerving to me.
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I would assume establishing a time line.
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Just another way of remembering someone, as well as expressing one's grief. Everyone is different in the way they do so. Speaking of how old a lost loved one MIGHT have been allows someone to verbally express the grief they still feel about that loss, while also giving them something positive to imagine (e.g. what the loved one might be like today).
I think the practice is a lot more understandable when you hear someone talk about a child that has passed (i.e. "Johnny would have been 5 years old today.")
When does it stop? I think that depends on each person, and how long it takes them to fully work through the grief of a loss. If I were a parent who lost a child, for example, I don't think I would ever be able to stop thinking about how old they would be or what they might have become.
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Children....I TOTALLY get that.
The confusion for me is when it goes beyond the norm for anyone to expect to live....like a 300th birthday.
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It's undoubtedly nicer than "He'd be a really grouchy old bastid by now."
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Kasey, each of us are different. Mom/Dad were firecracker babies. Last year. July 2nd 1923 Dad, July 5th 1923 Mom. 100th birthday in Heaven. Just another way to keep their memory alive for me. -----------------------------Ray
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Calvin, my 1st cousin /childhood fishing buddy would have been 81 this year same as me. From Mineral, Virginia KIA Vietnam 11/23/67. Never saw his child. Took a round for me (For all of us) -------------------------Ray
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My wife for years
Gets a new calander like most every one each year and then will transfer dates to the new one
Including family and most of out pets death dates along with birthdays and any notable dates
It's just a way to remember and also just a time marker I guess
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In four generations, no one will know a single fact about me.
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jimdeere: 29951180313243/comments/29951196946971
In four generations, no one will know a single fact about me.
If that long i have seen with in two generations and depending on how close a family is
Just my experence My dad had nine sisters all stayed in Tennessee I got to know a couple of them a little bit but have no idea how many kids and following generations and what become of them sadly not even where ther Burred .
Same with mom's side I got to know her two brotheres and a hand full of cousins but after her brothers passed no idea what become of them all she had a sister who moved to California in the late 1950's she married three maybe four times seen her about 5 or 6 times when I was a kid no clue of any of them
Just watch youtube countless post on abanded cemeterys cripts and mosileams lost to time now over grown and forgotten
Sad but I think people have inner deep feeling of wanting to be remembered . But reality time marches on dust to dust really comes to mind
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Would George Washington really be 292 years old?
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I never thought of how old my grandparents would be now. Once in awhile do I think about how old my dear sweet Stephen would be only because his life was ended to early. He was just 37, and I was 30. He would have been 51 this July.... Where does the time go. Grief is grief. I guess you deal with it the best you can even if it's nutty to other people.
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Back on Feb 23, 2020, I finished a bottle of 18 year old scotch. It would be 22 years old today. 😢 🥃
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I don't count like that but I have to admit that I send Birthday and Christmas posts to 3 of those that have passed. One to my only sibling, one to a more distant relative, and one to a very good friend. Don't any of you mention this as I haven't told anyone else - not even my immediate family.
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I still get donation envelopes for me folks that have moved on
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KL: 29951180313243/comments/29951215217819
Back on Feb 23, 2020, I finished a bottle of 18 year old scotch. It would be 22 years old today. 😢 🥃
yes but just think it is now 4 year old peee...........
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After thinking about it tonight
If your a Democrat politician then all dead voters still count so the need to keep track comes in handy
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I don't know? I may be guilty of this with my folks but only count the years I have grown past their ages when they died. Haven't quite caught up with my dad yet but I have exceeded my mom's age by 22 years.
Just something I do in my head usually around my birthdays and do not share these thoughts with anyone. Probably part of my grief after all the years past. I always think about how much the area I live in and the world in general has changed since they were around. Then, I think about stupid stuff like; Would my mom even know me if she saw me today?
OK, for all members who majored in psychiatry, please PM me with any FREE advise. 😁
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Brookwood: 29951180313243/comments/29951227676827
I don't know? I may be guilty of this with my folks but only count the years I have grown past their ages when they died. Haven't quite caught up with my dad yet but I have exceeded my mom's age by 22 years.
Just something I do in my head usually around my birthdays and do not share these thoughts with anyone. Probably part of my grief after all the years past. I always think about how much the area I live in and the world in general has changed since they were around. Then, I think about stupid stuff like; Would my mom even know me if she saw me today?
OK, for all members who majored in psychiatry, please PM me with any FREE advise. 😁
with thoughts like that brooks you shouldn't own any guns,you may consider them older than they really are which may hurt their feelings, please send me all your guns for safekeeping...........
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I totally understand the grief part....but the age thing is my only hangup...(if you want to call it that)...not when they would have reached that age if they were still here, but the years that are totally beyond what anyone could have expected to live.
If you tell me your dad would have been 75....I can picture a 75 year old person and you think about all the memories you miss out on when they pass 20 years prior. You imagine them being at events they were not there for, you imagine the age progression....all of that I can see.
Its when people go over 100 years or into the multiple hundreds of years that makes my brain freeze.
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It’s not just grief, it’s history, we all want to be remembered as part of are history, and we want the ones we loved to be remembered as well.
My grandmother for instance lived to be 100 years old and her sister my aunt lived to 106 years old, they defied the odds and made it past 65. Remember 65 years old at one time was considered the end, that’s why that age was chosen for Social Security at the time.
As for grief, as long as someone that has passed is still remembered, they are still alive in are heart.
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